Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Making space for possiblities

Has been a long time since I last posted. This is not for lack of thinking about it. It has to do with feeling stuck with nothing to say. Haven't felt like I had any worthwhile advice for quite a while.

Until this past weekend. I had time at home with my little guy. Husband was in NY and I had dialed back any plans with friends to just the minimum. We went to a friend's incredible new house in my favorite neighborhood for brunch. I couldn't be happier for her or feel there's a better person to live her life. However, I came home on Sunday and curled up in my bed while my little boy slept. I was crushed, sad and wanting a life other than mine. Her beautiful, spacious house with wallpaper, excessive numbers of bathrooms, double Viking ovens she wasn't quite sure what they were for...

After about 15 mins of not sleeping, not crying, not writing, not talking, just wallowing, I turned to a book I was given I don't even know how long ago nor by whom. I put it on my Amazon Wishlist a long time ago and then neglected it. Let it get dusty with the other great ideas I have scattered about.

The book is called Creating Sacred Space with Fung Shui by Karen Kingston. She talks about the energy of objects, rooms and spaces and how our spaces accumulate residue from the experiences we have within them the way cobwebs build up in corners if you don't clean from time to time.

I looked around my room, my house, the car, the garage and realized I had been neglecting the space I'm in now for as long or longer as I've felt stuck. My office no longer felt welcoming, my pantry was overflowing with stuff, my car was dusty and grimy, my sewing machine in disorder and stacks and stacks of papers.

It was no wonder I was constantly feeling overwhelmed, like there was no time to get to all my ambitions! I was burying myself. I realized if I want to create light and space and freedom in my life, I need to create that in my home. Kingston talks about the external home being a direct reflection of the internal life. WELL YES! HELLO!


Needless to say, the house is in major overhaul. My office is much cleaner, tidy-er and feels like a space where I can actually realize my aspirations. I have cracked open the wedding box from the garage, only 6 years later, to weed out documents that no longer need storage and pictures that finally can be put in books. I can honor my marriage, not neglect it on a shelf for a later date. And so it is going and it is ENERGIZING and fun and I have shaken my envy of my lucky friend. She has her space and I have mine and I love both.

4 comments:

Sarah Ardin said...

ooh, cool post, moonmama, on this full moon weekend. glad to hear you're clearing. i've been feeling stuck in what to write on my blog. glad to read I'm not the only one.

Anonymous said...

This is gorgeous. And inspiring!

urbanmama said...

Thank you for writing this down, Moomama.As you both know we've been trying to buy a house for sometime. For a few reasons we've put our search on hold and having done that I realized that I have neglected our space in anticipation of changing space. It was liberating to know that I could now look at my "old" space in a new way, start cleaning it up and appreciate it again. We are on the same page MAMA! And by the way - I LOVE your space, it is cool (in a fresh way), inviting and warm.

tHeDeAnEr said...

Good stuff, thanks for sharing. Makes me think of our space and what it is and what it could be...

Time to rent a dumpster...